That's how far away my son is.
I woke up this morning to the news of the suicide bomber cowardly blowing himself up in front of Bagram Air Base. I also woke to the news that there had been American casualties. Now I play the wait game. The wait and see if the Casualty Assistance Officer shows up at the door. Along with thousands of other mothers, I wait. The wave of relief felt when you know it is not your child is tempered by the pain you feel for the mother that has.
I think that this is the second hardest part about being a military family. The uncertainty magnified by the distance. I no longer can protect my son, I have to put my faith in God to do that. But it is hard and it wears on you very quickly.
Most of the time, I keep a very upbeat and positive attitude. My son believes in what he is doing, he has been there and seen results. He has put shoes on a child who has never had a decent pair in her life, he has been in firefights with bad guys, he has visited orphanages and arranged food drives for refugees, he has seen the face of evil there. But he believes with his whole heart that this is the course we need to be on. This is the course that may provide the next Mozart or Einstein or the cure for cancer...if only the people are given the chance. He believes in the will of a free Afghanistan.
The dark side of me surfaces every once in awhile. It is a darkness born of fear. The fear of helplessness for my child. Is he warm? Did he eat in the past couple of days? Has he slept? Is he hurt? Does he know how much I love him? Does he know how proud I am of him?
So I wait. And I pray. And I believe in my son's beliefs.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Mother Nature and The Birthday Gift
It really isn't a big whoop that today is my birthday. I have long ago gotten past the thrill of the day. :-)
What was great was the unexpected surprise I got last night. Brandon called! It was so good to hear his voice. The better surprise was his travails for the past few weeks. I swear God is smiling on me.
He left for Combat Readiness training a couple of weeks ago. He was to fly from CRC to somewhere on the East Coast (after training) and then fly from there to his destination. Mother Nature had other plans. He was scheduled to fly on Valentine's Day to JFK. Of course, that didn't happen with the wicked storm we had. The flights were rescheduled and he is going to be in Baltimore today! What a great birthday surprise....I get to see my first born before he leaves.
The call was kind of comical. He called me at work and I immediately said "Gosh, this is a great connection." LOL. I had no clue he was in Atlanta!
I am so excited to see him. Little does he know the whole family is coming up to have an dinner with him. He thinks it is just going to be me. Turning the tables will be fun.
So thanks to God and Mother Nature, I get a great birthday gift...unexpected and cherished.
What was great was the unexpected surprise I got last night. Brandon called! It was so good to hear his voice. The better surprise was his travails for the past few weeks. I swear God is smiling on me.
He left for Combat Readiness training a couple of weeks ago. He was to fly from CRC to somewhere on the East Coast (after training) and then fly from there to his destination. Mother Nature had other plans. He was scheduled to fly on Valentine's Day to JFK. Of course, that didn't happen with the wicked storm we had. The flights were rescheduled and he is going to be in Baltimore today! What a great birthday surprise....I get to see my first born before he leaves.
The call was kind of comical. He called me at work and I immediately said "Gosh, this is a great connection." LOL. I had no clue he was in Atlanta!
I am so excited to see him. Little does he know the whole family is coming up to have an dinner with him. He thinks it is just going to be me. Turning the tables will be fun.
So thanks to God and Mother Nature, I get a great birthday gift...unexpected and cherished.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
A Poke In The Eye With A Sharp Stick
While getting ready for work today, I once again poked my eye with my mascara wand. I think I have done this about 19 million times in my adult life. Mascara and make up in general, kind of go against all those things we are taught when we are growing up.
"Don't wave anything sharp around your face. You might put your eye out." Uh, yeah...about every third time I put on mascara, I manage to poke my eye. Of course, going without mascara is a bit more scary than the Tammy Faye Baker look I manage to always pull off when I use the stuff.
"Let everyone see the real you. Beauty comes from the inside." Probably true but it is kind of hard getting past my pastey face when I don't wear make up.
I don't mind make up, it's just not one of my favorite things to do. It is a requirement, kind of like flossing and wearing my stupid night retainer. But I can't put it on a list of my favorite things to do.
I wonder if this makes me a slave to face fashion?
"Don't wave anything sharp around your face. You might put your eye out." Uh, yeah...about every third time I put on mascara, I manage to poke my eye. Of course, going without mascara is a bit more scary than the Tammy Faye Baker look I manage to always pull off when I use the stuff.
"Let everyone see the real you. Beauty comes from the inside." Probably true but it is kind of hard getting past my pastey face when I don't wear make up.
I don't mind make up, it's just not one of my favorite things to do. It is a requirement, kind of like flossing and wearing my stupid night retainer. But I can't put it on a list of my favorite things to do.
I wonder if this makes me a slave to face fashion?
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The Mind of a Six Year Old
I love my youngest one's mind. I always forget how literal they are at this age. He was helping me cook dinner tonight and asked about adding salt. I told him to just add a pinch. He wanted to know who he was suppose to pinch.
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