Excuse me but you seem to have left your knife in my back

It was a bit of a rough night here. I found out that one of who I thought was my dearest friends betrayed me. The grief that I feel is not the betrayal, it is the loss of the friendship. Yes betrayal is bad, but the cost of that betrayal is higher.

Even if we get past this event, the friendship will never be the same. Nor will it be stronger and that is a character flaw of mine. I am a loyal person, much to a fault and in friendship, I expect loyalty (and tolerance :-) ) in return.

If you remove the loyalty factor, what do you have? Kind of a void with maybe a few good time bumping around in it. I do have better ways of amusing myself looking into the nothingness to see if something is there.

I don't know if I will miss my friend. I will miss what was.